# Adventures with road kill.



## captkenroy (Jan 10, 2007)

As most of ya'll know, the difference between a regular fairy tale and a ******* fairy tale is the way they start. A regular fairy tale starts out, "Once upon a time" where a ******* fairy tale starts out, "You anin't gonna believe this s--+."

This actually happened to me recently but YOU AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS S--+.

Yesterday, I saw a fox on US 19. It hadn't been hit too bad so I decided I'd cut the tail off for fly tying. I took my shears from my tool kit and walked over to the Fox. I bent down to grab the tail and the fox got up and hauled butt. It wasn't limping at all. Heck, it only hit the ground in high spots. He saw me with the shears and said, "I'm outta here."
This morning, there was a **** in the road near the C-40 ramp. When I came by later after fishing, there were several buzzards enjoying brunch. All except 1 flew as I approached and the other one waited until I was mighty close. I swung into the other lane to miss the **** and the buzzard. Evidently the buzzard had the same idea. The buzzard knocked my right wiper almost off and I really thought it had broken the windshield. Lotsa buzzard poop on my truck. 

Two days in a row. Gosple truth!


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## deerfly (Mar 10, 2007)

you daddy must notta learnt you right fer hangin' on to a critter when you need too. You probably been livin' out the supermarket too long, lost yer edge.


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## HaMm3r (Dec 11, 2006)

I don't believe it...


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## iMacattack (Dec 11, 2006)

taint dead if it's still twitchin!


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## Brett (Jul 16, 2008)

Browsing old posts and saw this tidbit, logged off and went to mow the yard.
I don't know if it was the benzene in the fuel or maybe the carbon monoxide
in the air, but it got me to thinkin'...

Buzzards like to eat roadkill, but how does a buzzard
know if a possum is dead? Possums play possum.
Possums already smell dead. They got flies like they're dead.
When they're playing possum they look dead. Why?
You ever take a close look at a possum?
They got teeth a sabertoothed tiger would be proud of,
and claws that could make a golden eagle jealous.
All I've ever seen them do is scurry away into the night,
or roll over on their side and play dead. This got me to thinking,
they got all these armaments, there's got to be a reason!

I think I've figured it out.
Everything has something that hunts it and eats it.
But I've never seen anything hunt or eat a buzzard.
Think about it, them possums are laying there "dead"
along side the road, flies a buzzin', smelling dead,
and them buzzards come down to get dinner.
Just as them buzzards are about to chow down
that fanged, taloned "dead" critter ups and surprise...
one shredded buzzard. All this time I thought those
buzzard feathers I see on the road were the result
of automobiles. Heck no! Possums hunt buzzards!
It explains everything. 
...I think...maybe it's just the exhaust fumes...or the heat...


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## captkenroy (Jan 10, 2007)

Thanks Brett. I was once almost overcome by secondhand marijuana smoke and had a similar halucination.

Another time I climbed up to my deer stand and came face to face with "JAWS" at 6". Needless to say, I let the possum have the stand for the day.


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## deerfly (Mar 10, 2007)

> overcome by secondhand marijuana smoke


I gotta remember that one. 

as fer possums, they can and do look mean, especially when you agitate or corner them, but I'd rather snatch hold of a possum than a raccoon any day. After many years of dog hunting I've seen plenty of raccoons make a mess of a few hound dogs more often than not. The dogs usually end up killin them after a bit, but not after a lot of blood letting. Pound for pound a raccoon is one scrappy little critter.


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## Brett (Jul 16, 2008)

Raccoons or bobcats - they're both chainsaws with fur


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## axe11924 (Jul 27, 2008)

> After many years of dog hunting


Thats funny ;D Whats the limit on dogs or does it differ by breed ;D ;D ;D


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## deerfly (Mar 10, 2007)

> > After many years of dog hunting
> 
> 
> Thats funny ;D Whats the limit on dogs or does it differ by breed ;D ;D ;D


lol, I guess depending on how and where you were raised "dog hunting" does sound kinda funny doesn't it. 

ok, correction... "After many years of hunting with dogs..."


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## Brett (Jul 16, 2008)

I guess that explains the need for a cookbook called:
"100 ways to Wok Your Dog"


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## captkenroy (Jan 10, 2007)

I just re-read my statement re: "Second-hand marijuana smoke."

I've been writing an on-line novel titled, Marijuana Dreamin'

The tale has a little dope smoking, shenannigans at a high class whorehouse, a little about the origin of football, a bunch of American pre-history, an interesting experiment with a plant that has been extinct for more than 1000 years, run-ins with the DEA, FBI, CIA and various other law enforcemtnt agencies.

Some of the cast of thousands you have probably heard of include, JFK, MLK, Lyndon Johnson, Barak, Jesse Jackson, J. Edgar Hoover, Bobby Kennedy and a bunch of others I can't recall at the time.

My best friends in the tale are mostly college professors at UF.

A lot of the tale takes place at Miss Martha's Sorority House near Gainesville. Her "girls" include a Master Chef, two Physicians, an Attorney, a Psychologist and other ladies with dual professions.

Oh yeah, there is a little fishing too.

I posted chapter 152 this morning.

You can read it by Googling Marijuana Dreamin' (Gotta spell it that way)

Capt Ken NACWHFT member in good standing.


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## Brett (Jul 16, 2008)

I think I'm feeling a contact high just from reading that narrative.
I could smell the fumes from the maui-wowie-saurus all the way
over here in Palm Coast, and it's an east wind...
wait, maybe someone hit a polecat on I-95.


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## Shadowcast (Feb 26, 2008)

> As most of ya'll know, the difference between a regular fairy tale and a ******* fairy tale is the way they start.  A regular fairy tale starts out, "Once upon a time" where a ******* fairy tale starts out, "You anin't gonna believe this s--+."
> 
> This actually happened to me recently but YOU AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS S--+.
> 
> ...


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! ;D


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## Green_Hornet (Nov 1, 2008)

I always use the rule of...if you think it's dead...then poke it with a stick first.


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## Salty_South (Feb 25, 2009)

I found half of a flying squirrel in my mailbox not long ago. Thankfully, it was the bottom half. Flying squirrel tail makes excellent dubbing!! So then I got to thinking, "You know your a ******* when you find a dead animal in the mailbox and want to know who to thank!"


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